15 Spanking Good Safe Words, And How To Use One During Sex

Pineapple, lavender, orangutan — Get all your safe word ideas here.

So, you’re looking to get kinky? Well, before you break out the handcuffs and blindfolds, you’ll need one more important thing — a safe word. Choosing a good safe word can sometimes be half the fun, but if you need some inspiration, check out our list of safe word ideas.

What is a safe word?

A safe word is a verbal or non-verbal indicator used to revoke consent and /or signal that a sexual activity needs to stop immediately. A safe word can be a word, like “pineapple”, or a gesture, like blinking, that both partners agree upon prior to engaging in sex. A safe word is usually used when a sexual activity pushes boundaries and verges on or becomes too much to handle.

Why do you need a safe word?

Safe words are needed to maintain consent during sexual experiences that may be approaching personal boundaries. The philosophy behind establishing safe words comes from the BDSM and kink community, where some sexual activities are more intense or blur the lines of what constitutes traditional expressions of consent, including words like “Stop” and “No.”

For example, if you and a partner are engaged in consensual non-consent (CNC) role play, which involves forced domination where both parties ‘act’ as if consent has been waived, then saying “Stop” and “No” may be part of the role play. A safe word allows your partner to clearly separate the role play communication from reality and know when a boundary has been pushed too far.

Safe words are also vital in establishing physical limitations or thresholds. Some BDSM activities might include physical pain that the submissive finds pleasurable, but it may be difficult for the partner to determine when the pain is no longer pleasurable. A clear safe word helps both parties communicate when a limit has been reached and allows the couple to quickly stop any activity that might threaten the physical or mental well-being of the submissive.